11 Ways to Last Longer in Bed


1) Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

You’ve likely heard of kegels or kegel exercises, where you train your pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor, through a series of contraction and release exercises. To understand what these muscles feel like when they're fired up, try cutting off the flow of urine the next time you're using the bathroom. After you cut it off, let it flow, then cut it off again, then let it flow again.


For help isolating those PC muscles, try standing in front of a mirror and using them to lift your testicles without the help of your hands. Imagine “lifting your nuts to your guts” or “shortening your penis,” Sandra Hilton, PT, DPT, a doctor of physical therapy at Entropy Physiotherapy and Wellness in Chicago, Illinois, previously told Men’s Health.

Once you have a feel for how to expand and contract your PC muscles, tighten and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice in sets of 10. The beauty of this exercise, which will result in heightened ejaculatory control and help you last longer in bed, is that you can do it practically anywhere.


There’s scientific proof that kegels can help men make sex last longer. As Men’s Health UK reported: “A 2005 study found that 75 percent of men improved erectile function after doing kegels. In another study, Italian researchers found that 61 percent of men were cured of premature ejaculation through rehabilitation of the pelvic floor muscles.”

2) Limit your thrusting.

There are plenty of ways to enjoy intercourse without thrusting like a jackrabbit. You can massage the tip of your penis into her clitoral hood. You can focus on the nerve endings in her vaginal entrance instead of seeing how deep you can get. You can press your penis against her G-spot. Sure, throw a little thrusting in there too, but if you feel like you're about to reach the point of no return, there are ways to slow things down without sacrificing your partner's pleasure.


3) Wait longer for intercourse—or hell, don't do it all.

All too often, we think of sex as being penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus. But that’s such a limiting—and frankly, boring—definition of sex. There are plenty of other sexual activities that'll bring you both pleasure and prolong the overall length of your hookup, including erotic massage, experimenting with kinks, or focusing entirely on stimulating your partner (oral sex, anyone?).


Speaking of oral, if your partner has a vagina, this is a great way to increase their likelihood of reaching orgasm. A 2017 study published in the journal Sex and Marital Therapy found that only 18% of vagina owners have the capacity to orgasm from direct penetration; the rest of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.


4) Switch things up.

Instead of picking one position and pounding away like the aforementioned jackrabbit, try alternating between a few different configurations to last longer during sex. Switching positions provides a little bit of “time off” when your penis is not being stimulated.

You can also try out some more elaborate sex positions that require physical stamina. With these “wilder” more physically strenuous sex positions, you’ll be more focused on technique and balance so you won’t be able to focus on the physical stimulations as much.



5) Choose sex positions that'll help you last longer.

In a similar vein, you want to skip positions that provide too much stimulation. Positions like doggy style or flatiron, where you can go super-duper deep and get all the extra stimulation from your partner’s booty, are probably good to skip.


Instead, try positions that only allow for shallower penetration, or that don't allow for much "in and out" movement. The CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) is ideal if you're looking for something shallow. (Plus, if your partner has a clitoris, it's great for their pleasure!) Then there's the Lotus position, which is all about grinding against each other as opposed to hardcore thrusting.


6) Try edging.

Delaying your orgasm while masturbating can be one of the most effective ways to train yourself to last longer during sex. This is also known as edging, and according to Walsh, it's one of the most common techniques for avoiding premature ejaculation. Basically, you bring yourself right to the edge of orgasm before stopping all sexual or masturbatory activity until you have your excitement under control.

Practicing this technique can help you teach your brain and body to better control your orgasm response and make sex last longer, says sex therapist Emily Morse, Ph.D. Just be sure to use a lot of lotion or lube while you practice edging to avoid chafing, she adds.



7) Try 'The Squeeze.'

If you can feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra, or the tube running along the underside of the penis, advises Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex

The squeeze technique can help you last longer in bed by pushing blood out of the penis and momentarily decreasing sexual tension, which represses the ejaculatory response, Kerner says.


“This is another type of biofeedback, similar to edging.” Walsh adds.


8) Masturbate beforehand.

Masturbating alone prior to a sexual encounter is a free and simple technique to help fight premature ejaculation. “A lot of my patients will masturbate prior to sex,” explains Evan Goldstein, D.O., a proctologist who specializes in men's sexual health at Bespoke Surgical. “Sometimes ejaculating too quickly is due to the fact that you’re all riled up and haven’t ejaculated recently, which means your prostate is fully engorged.” When it’s been a while since you last ejaculated, the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can set you off (literally).


Goldstein continues, “If you masturbate close to when you know you’re going to have sex, you’re essentially having sex a second time, which means it will take a little longer to climax.” He does, however, caution to practice the appropriate timing in between sessions because the last thing you want is to then not be able to perform at all.


If you notice you’re still having issues with PE even when masturbating beforehand, then you can masturbate repeatedly beforehand to help combat the issue during sex.


9) Wear the right condom.

If you struggle with premature ejaculation, condoms can be your best friend when it comes to lasting longer during sex. (Also, you should be using them anyway, bro.) Most major condom manufacturers make extra-thick rubbers that act like a slip-on desensitizer for your member during sex, Morse says, and these can help you avoid premature ejaculation. Try Trojan's Pleasures Extended, which comes with a numbing agent to help prolong pleasure for you the both of you.


10) Use anesthetic wipes

In 2017, a small study found that applying wipes covered in a small amount of benzocaine, a mild anesthetic, can help you last longer in bed. The problem? If your partner has a vagina, the wipes could have the unintended effect of numbing her down there, says NYC-based urologist David Samadi, M.D.


If you’re interested in trying out anesthetic wipes, Roman—the online service that sends generic erectile dysfunction medication straight to your door—also offers “Roman Swipes.” The Swipes have a 4% benzocaine solution, which reportedly reduces overstimulation without eliminating sensation altogether.


Additionally, Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, urologist and sexual health expert at Orlando Health, suggests numbing medications—like Promescent—that come in creams and sprays. “Similar to a condom these things can cause you to have less sexual pleasure,” Brahmbhatt explains. “Plus, it can affect the partner's satisfaction as well. Make sure your partner knows you are using it as a heads up and also to make sure they don’t have a history of allergic reaction or problem with its use.”


11) Try technology that can help you last longer.

A new FDA-cleared program called Prolong purportedly helps train you to delay ejaculation by jerking off with a special device. For $299, you get a vibrating masturbation gadget, a guidebook, and some lube.


"Over your six-week training program, the studs and vibrations combine to fine tune that over-sensitive sweet spot under the head of your penis just enough to hand you the reigns to your climax," its website states.


Don’t want to spend $299, but still want to treat your PE? There’s an app for that.

Check out the Premature Ejaculation App—or Pea, for short. Billed as a “virtual sex therapist,” the app guides you through a three-step masturbation training program to help treat your PE, and lets you track your improvement over time.



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