We’ve heard time and again that hitting the G-spot (or Grafenberg spot) is an important component of satisfying vaginal sex, and that some people find they have a more intense G-spot orgasm than a clitoral orgasm (even resulting in squirting, or female ejaculation). But what is a G-spot, and how do you find it?
It’s true: The G-spot has achieved something of a mystical reputation. Many people who have vaginas have a difficult time orgasming from vaginal penetration alone and seek additional forms of stimulation for a better sexual experience (a 2018 study shares that only 18% of participants said penetration alone was enough to make them come). Here’s where G-spot stimulation comes in—but some have trouble finding the G-spot, and others doubt its existence to begin with. The National Women’s Health Network has even had to answer the question, “Is the G-spot real?”
Let’s clear things up: While sexologists, gynecologists, and sexual health researchers generally agree that the G-spot is in fact “real,” there’s still some controversy around it, Megan Fleming, Ph.D., sex therapist and resident sex expert for Lovehoney, says.
Primarily, the G-spot is controversial because it’s quite possible that a “vaginal” orgasm you get from G-spot stimulation is actually clitoral (and not something entirely different from typical clitoral stimulation). “What was once known as a difficult-to-locate mystery vaginal space is now thought to be part of the clitoris,” Shamyra Howard, LCSW, a sexologist and sex therapist, says. What we know about the anatomy of the clitoris suggests that the little nub you can feel with your fingers is just the tip. The clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone, with long legs that extend three to four inches inside your body and around your vaginal opening. Clitoral anatomy is still understudied, but many sex researchers believe putting pressure on the G-spot actually stimulates internal parts of the clitoris, leading to a stronger orgasm.
Why is it called the g-spot?
The name comes from German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who first published an article about female ejaculation and an erogenous zone in the front wall of the vagina in the 1940s (we can also thank Grafenberg for the first IUD).
How do you find your g-spot?
Both Howard and Dr. Fleming suggest starting with your hands. Your fingers will give you a lot more information than a sex toy or penis. Dr. Fleming recommends inserting two fingers into your vagina, curling them into a C-shape, and making a “come hither” motion toward your vaginal wall (that’s toward your belly button). “The G-spot is an area considered by most to be two to three inches up the anterior wall, between 11 o’clock and 1 o’clock,” she says. The word “area” is important here. While the name G-spot brings to mind a small button you have to press just right, in reality the G-spot is more like a G-zone, sex educator Cassandra Corrado, says. You have an area of tissue to work with, not one tiny spot. Also important is taking time for arousal. The G-zone will swell and become more sensitive the more aroused you are, so if you’re trying to explore G-spot play, going straight to penetration won’t be very helpful, Corrado says. Some people report that their G-spot has a sponge-like texture when it’s fully aroused, which may help you find it easier. However, everybody is different, so your G-zone might not feel like a sponge. Dr. Fleming says it might be roughly the size of a walnut with a bumpy surface.
Once you think you’ve found your G-spot, you can play with it in many ways. Use pressure and different types of motion with your fingers, try a vibrating sex toy or a metal or glass dildo, and see if your partner can hit the right spot with a penis or strap-on. If you find that you don’t get a lot of pleasure from G-spot play, that’s totally normal. Some people find G-spot orgasms to be intense and powerful. Others don’t like them or can’t orgasm from G-spot play alone. “The same is true for squirting,” Dr. Fleming says. “It doesn’t happen for all women. And some women, even when they can, don’t like to. When exploring your turn-ons and personal pleasure, know that you are your own expert.” That said, if you find that you really love G-zone play, there are endless options in the sex toy world to explore more.