Orgasms are fantastic — we all know this. However, what makes them so spicy is the fact we are all unique, we all get turned on by different things and methods, and orgasms can either be faint and quiet or rank on the Richter scale.
The one thing we can pretty much count on is that we all want one when it comes to sexy time with a partner, or by ourselves. Intimacy is great, but let’s face it, the happy ending is what makes humping and foreplay so, well, happy.
Hopefully your sexual partner (or partners) know how to touch you in all the right ways so you get yours. And the titillating part is, there’s more than one way to ring your bell if you have a vagina.
Psychology Today reports that only 25% of folks with a vagina orgasm through sexual intercourse alone. That means the clitoris is where it’s at for the other 75% of us, and that includes me. I’ve never reached orgasm through intercourse alone. However, there’s something called a G-Spot orgasm that I’m going to try because I’m not a quitter.
What is a G-spot orgasm and how do we get one? Let’s dive into it. Scary Mommy talked with Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., clinical sexologist, and co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide — a hub for sexual health and wellness content.
Sommer tells us that the G-spot lies on the anterior wall of the vagina, five to eight centimeters away from the vaginal opening. To best stimulate it, she suggests exploring with self play first. “I recommend going for a curved sex toy designed for G-spot stimulation,” says Sommer. This is because unlike a regular sex toy, something that is curved will have “a pointed head and curved shaft, making it easier to access the area toward your belly button,” which is where you want to be when it comes to a G-spot orgasm.
If you are with a partner and want to give this kind of orgasm a fair chance, you need to be in the position to do that (ahem). Sommer suggests that positions like cowgirl, doggy style, and closed missionary style make it easiest to massage your G-spot.
If you have tried to have a G-spot orgasm with no luck, Sommer says not to give up. “In my years of practice, I’ve worked with people who’re frustrated by their inability to find the G-spot or the belief that they don’t have one. However, the truth is, anyone with a vagina can have one.”
Keep in mind the way you get there might be difficult, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. “It’s easier for some people than others to locate their G-spot and that’s okay,” says Sommer.
And once you find the secret recipe you will have a new hobby, since, according to Sommer, “Most vagina owners describe clitoral orgasms as a series of focused, intense pulses, most women define G-spot orgasms as deep, slow, and full-bodied pulsations.”
Um, she had me at “deep and slow.”
Goody Howard is the resident sex educator for the sexual hygiene and body care company, Royal, who told Scary Mommy that a G-spot orgasm is a result of stimulation to the internal part of the clitoris. To find it, insert your fingers into the vagina (don’t forget the lube) and you will notice a raised, textured patch of skin. “This is rich with nerve endings and is the internal access point to the clitoral organ. It’s very different from the smooth skin in the vaginal canal,” says Howard.
To achieve a G-spot orgasm, Howard also suggests stimulating the G-spot with fingers, penis/dildo, or a toy specifically designed for G-spot pleasure. “It’s easier to achieve a G-spot orgasm if you’re properly hydrated and aroused when you start your intimate exploration,” adds Howard. So, remember to drink up, relax, and get some good foreplay in to prepare your body for the upcoming celebration in your pants, since a G-spot orgasm has been reported to be more intense than a clitoral orgasm.
“A G-spot orgasm is more all-encompassing and G-spot stimulation often feels like you have to pee (because the spongy urethra tissue is in the same area),” says Howard. “But, if you allow yourself to connect to the pleasure it will result in the elusive orgasm, not a potty break.”
Howard adds, “Another big difference is that g-spot orgasms tend to be more intense and last longer than clitoral or vaginal orgasms alone.”
And if you are interested in squirting, a G-spot orgasm often leads to that, says Howard.
If you want to give the G-spot orgasm a go, consider this your guide. Get down with your bad self or experiment with a partner, and remember, don’t give up — you just may be closer to the best orgasm of your life than you thought.